My Momma Loved to Cook More Love Than Food

Dalbin Osorio, LGSW
Dalbin Osorio is a social worker in the DMV area who fights for justice in the child welfare system through his work with the DC Child and Family Services.

My mom used to wake us up on Sundays to the sounds of merengue drums and the smell of Mistolin.
"Sundays weren't for resting."
Even now, and I haven't really lived at home for 10 years, the first thing my senses pick up on when I visit is the smell.
"No, listen, these kids were always hungry. 'Ma, I'm hungry' were like the only words they knew."

Pastelon recipe

Sofrito or Sazon

6 -10 Plantains, ripe with black spots, peeled and cut in half
3 -5 garlic cloves, minced

Vegetable oil
1 Onion, minced
1 Cubanelle pepper, minced
Ajies dulces, minced (small sweet chile peppers)

1 habanero, minced, Optional but good
1⁄2cup minced fresh cilantro or 1⁄2cup minced fresh parsley

She came from the Dominican Republic and worked at a battery factory in Brooklyn. I tell people that and they never really understand.
"That was the only job I could find. It was me and all these women who just wanted to earn some money to provide for their children."
When people see my ambition, I think because they don't understand how my mom made it work for 27 cents an hour they don't realize: it's her fire that always motivates me.
"The only thing I ever asked of you was to be honest and true to yourself, but most importantly to love yourself. Good things come to people who feel they deserve them."

Filling mixture

Annatto oil (coconut is my choice) or vegetable oil (coconut is my choice) or  coconut oil (coconut is my choice)
2 tablespoons  vinegar
1bay leaf
1⁄3cup pimento-stuffed green olives, cut in half
1⁄2cup  raisins
1⁄2cup  tomato sauce

3 lbs  ground beef (make a mix of all three) or 3 lbs  ground turkey(make a mix of all three) or 3 lbs shredded pork (make a mix of all three)
2teaspoons powdered adobo seasoning (achiote)
2tablespoons  oregano
1⁄2teaspoon  ground cumin
1⁄2teaspoon  garlic powder, yes more
1teaspoon  paprika

I got kicked out of undergrad after my sophomore year, and I started taking online classes to try and finish my degree. One day, I was at the dinner table with my hands on my head wondering how my life had spiraled out of my control. At 23, that's what every 23 year old thinks.
"When I saw him that day with all this pressure, I hugged him and told him everything was going to be okay. I always felt that the pressure and the burden was never theirs to carry."
When I graduated with my Masters, I was so wrapped up in what it meant to me that I didn't even bother to figure out what it meant to her.
"It was a moment for him, not for me. Sure, I felt proud, but I also knew my son. I always bet on him."


My dad wasn't around, but I never really felt like I was missing anything. My mom liked baseball and boxing and action movies. There were very few times where I ever felt like "man, what would that be like"?
"It was important that they learned who their dad was for themselves. I didn't think it make sense to drive a wedge or to paint a picture that wasn't honest."
Even with me reconnecting with my dad, she never took it personal. Even now I think back and realize how selfish I was, because I never really appreciated all she did and how she didn't take it personal when I chose to get to know my dad.
"My job was to get him ready for the world. That was it. He made a lot of friends along the way, but the real friends showed him their desire to be in his life and not the other way around."

Toppings

2 -3 cups monterey jack cheese or 2 -3 cups  mozzarella cheese, shredded or 2 -3 cups shredded cheddar cheese or 2 -3 cups shredded oaxaca cheese
5 -7 eggs, whisked
1⁄4 cup  milk

The stories my mom used to tell us, I would later realize, created her own trauma. She felt abandonment, fear, anger, and sadness at all the crap she went through. She was the "black sheep" because where all the other cousins she grew up with had their father, she didn't. And that was not something my grandma was willing to ever talk about.
"I used to ask all the time who my dad was, and my mother couldn't be bothered with the information."
She felt abandoned, and it was hard for her to deal with.
"Not abandoned, per say. It's just hard living life alone, and not being able to call a brother or sister to vent about something your parent did makes you lonely."

I did not like my momma growing up. She wouldn't let me be a kid. I remember wanting to go ice skating, and she would always shut down any weekend plans I would try to make. I used to think she just wanted to control me.
"It was embarrassing to have to tell you we didn't have money for the things you wanted. I wish I was rich so you could've done it all."
My mom was resourceful though. I remember needing black pants for an audition for Little Shop of Horrors, and I didn't own a pair. I remember getting really sad because I was going to have to miss the audition.
"I saw how sad he was, and so I took a pair of blue jeans that he never wore and I dyed them in the sink. I figured that, at the very least, he'd have an emergent pair of black pants for tomorrow."

Cooking instructions
Heat a large deep skillet add oil of choice, enough to generously cover the bottom of your pan. Fry the plantains till they are a golden and just a little crispy on both sides. Remove from pan and set aside on paper towel. Repeat until all are fried and slightly crispy.
Add annatto oil to the same skillet add the ground meat of choice, garlic, onions, peppers, cilantro and or parsley, cooking over medium heat till meat is browned.
Add adobo, oregano, cumin, vinegar, bay leaf, olives, raisins, and tomato sauce. Season with black pepper to taste and salt to taste. Simmer 20 minutes. Remove and discard bay leaf.

The trauma she experienced, and how she made a life for herself that she was proud of in spite of it, is probably the thing I'm most proud of. She is the American dream, as much as any immigrant that comes here and busts their ass for their children. She was the first person to show me love through service.
"So many people would tell me to become a citizen, but I never wanted to sell my heritage away for benefits that didn't make me any more American. I wanted you to realize there are things that matter more than what we receive in exchange."

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.Butter or oil using the coconut oil from the fried plantains a 9x12 casserole pan.
Place half the plantain in a single layer and press down on them to fill all gaps.
Top with half the meat mixture.
Sprinkle half the cheese over the meat mixture.
Press the remaining plantains to flatten.
Place the flattened plantains on the cheese, top with remained meat mixture then cheese.
Mix the eggs with the milk. Pour the egg evenly over the the dish, let it sit for a few minutes allow the egg to soak inches.
If you like cheese like i do go ahead and sprinkle additional cheese on top.
Bake in the oven at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.
Let rest 15-20 minutes before slicing.

Whenever something good happens to me, I make sure to always thank her. It's important for me that she knows how much influence she had on that good thing.
"I never need a thank you. My thank you is you continuing to move forward. Always forward, never backwards. Walk into a room and own it. Let them see that they are captivated by a man raised by a woman. Because they won't speak about you when you mess up, they'll speak about me."

I love you Momma.
"I love you sweetheart."